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Well, it looks like I'm still too preoccupied with William to leave him behind just yet. Here we find him alone, and we're not the only ones. . .
BtVS, S5. G. (Previous parts here.)
--


I.
Staggers through the streets
blinded by tears and remorse.
Stranger jostles him.


II.
What’s a word that rhymes?
Realization shames him:
try “self-indulgent.”


III.
Alone with his grief,
shreds the misdirected ode—
starts at a soft voice.


IV.
He’s heard of women
who accost men in the streets;
he’ll be no trull’s mark.


V.
Something in her eyes
speaks to his finer feeling.
Is the lady lost?

(part 5: fascination)
 

Comments

( 51 dropped by — come on in )
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herself_nyc
Jun. 18th, 2008 07:41 pm (UTC)
Self-indulgent!
Mwah!
PERFECT!
Love all of these. You nailed him.
mere_ubu
Jun. 18th, 2008 07:55 pm (UTC)
Oh great. I finally nail someone and it's William. *snicker* When do I get to nail Spike?

Thank you! The "self-indulgent" one has been around for quite a while, but it seemed too mean-spirited until I realized that he could say it about himself instead of me saying it. I'm delighted that it worked for you and that you enjoyed these. :D

(no subject) - gillo - Jun. 18th, 2008 10:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
*sigh* - mere_ubu - Jun. 18th, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
adriana_is
Jun. 18th, 2008 07:43 pm (UTC)
oh so heartbreaking...poor William.
mere_ubu
Jun. 18th, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
Run! Run home to Mother, little man!

Thanks for reading, sweetie.
missmurchison
Jun. 18th, 2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
"Self-indulgent!"

Perfect.
mere_ubu
Jun. 18th, 2008 07:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Poor little guy.
ladyaelfwynn
Jun. 18th, 2008 07:52 pm (UTC)
I **squeed** when I saw more spaiku! ;-p

Breathtaking as always. I've gotta agree with the others "self-indulgent" is spot on!
mere_ubu
Jun. 18th, 2008 08:02 pm (UTC)
Aww, I'm thrilled to induce squee!

Thank you so much. I've been working on the "self-indulgent" one in various forms for a while and trying to find a way to not make it too cruel. Glad to hear it seems to work!
cindergal
Jun. 18th, 2008 08:31 pm (UTC)
Self-indulgent is indeed perfect. :-)
mere_ubu
Jun. 18th, 2008 11:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Lovely icon you've got there, ma'am.
(no subject) - cindergal - Jun. 19th, 2008 12:15 am (UTC) - Expand
katiekat641
Jun. 18th, 2008 09:34 pm (UTC)
They're all great! I love the second one.
mere_ubu
Jun. 18th, 2008 11:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed them. And I'm giggling at the Riley-free zone that is your icon. ;)
gillo
Jun. 18th, 2008 10:02 pm (UTC)
Wonderful - especially the word that rhymes. Just perfect!
mere_ubu
Jun. 18th, 2008 11:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I always squee at good gillo feedback. :D
rebcake
Jun. 18th, 2008 10:21 pm (UTC)
Yessssss. When it's right, it like slipping into warm bathwater. I go with the others on "self-indulgent", but the last one "lady lost?" is just as perfect. Chivalry: just about to be dead.
mere_ubu
Jun. 18th, 2008 11:48 pm (UTC)
Wow, thank you! What a lovely compliment.

Chivalry: just about to be dead.

*shivers* Ooh, it's even creepier when you put it that way! Glad to hear that you liked last one. Poor William just doesn't have a clue about who's lost here.
(no subject) - rebcake - Oct. 8th, 2011 10:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
philips
Jun. 18th, 2008 10:41 pm (UTC)
I'm tickled pink that you used the word trull. :)

Fantastic as usual. And now we're one Spaiku step closer to that cue chalking. Which I'm holding you to, btw.
mere_ubu
Jun. 18th, 2008 11:57 pm (UTC)
Hee! Whore seemed a little strong, and I'm awfully fond of trull. Other possibilities for that one:

He's heard the tales
of lady pickpockets and worse:
purveyors of vice.

He's heard of strumpets
who raise their skirts for money
and lead men astray.

*facepalm* There are more. Apparently, Haiku William is terribly shocked at the possibilities for iniquity that the London streets present.

Oh lord. Compulsory cue chalking! Liberate your Parisian postcard and we'll talk. :P

ETA: Thank you, darling! Duh.



Edited at 2008-06-18 11:57 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - ladyaelfwynn - Jun. 19th, 2008 12:11 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mere_ubu - Jun. 19th, 2008 02:58 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - philips - Jun. 19th, 2008 02:21 am (UTC) - Expand
Why oh why do I love Paris? - mere_ubu - Jun. 19th, 2008 02:56 am (UTC) - Expand
May my maman never know your evil. - philips - Jun. 19th, 2008 03:21 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: May my maman never know your evil. - mere_ubu - Jun. 19th, 2008 03:27 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: May my maman never know your evil. - philips - Jun. 19th, 2008 03:44 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: May my maman never know your evil. - mere_ubu - Jun. 19th, 2008 04:01 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: May my maman never know your evil. - philips - Jun. 19th, 2008 04:12 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: May my maman never know your evil. - mere_ubu - Jun. 19th, 2008 04:26 am (UTC) - Expand
lynnenne
Jun. 18th, 2008 11:50 pm (UTC)
try “self-indulgent.”

LOL. You win the haiku championships.
mere_ubu
Jun. 19th, 2008 03:00 am (UTC)
*bows* Why, thank you, ma'am! I always wanted to be a champeen. :D
(Deleted comment)
mere_ubu
Jun. 19th, 2008 03:03 am (UTC)
:D
Thank you so much! What a sweet thing to say. *eats up nummy feedback* I'm so pleased that you're still enjoying these.
louise39
Jun. 19th, 2008 12:59 am (UTC)
Lovely treatment of poor William's 'escape' from his humiliation to something worse.

Alone with his grief,
shreds the misdirected ode—

[The last sighting of human William]


mere_ubu
Jun. 19th, 2008 03:06 am (UTC)
I confess that I'm still longing to stuff him into that cab back to Mother. Now that I've gotten down to his last moments alone, I guess it's too late. *sigh* We'll just have to console ourselves with Spike. ;)

Thanks for reading, dear.

Edited at 2008-06-19 04:06 am (UTC)
molly_may
Jun. 19th, 2008 03:46 am (UTC)
These are all wonderful, but:

Realization shames him:
try “self-indulgent.”


Bwah! That made me laugh out loud.
mere_ubu
Jun. 19th, 2008 04:05 am (UTC)
Aw, thank you for reading and for laughing out loud! That makes me happy. :D

*snickers at your icon* Poor bastard.
diachrony
Jun. 19th, 2008 05:49 am (UTC)
AWESOME. Truly.

"Self-indulgent." You're a genius.

They're all just wonderful. And leave us on a cliffhanger, too!
mere_ubu
Jun. 19th, 2008 05:05 pm (UTC)
*blushes* Thank you! I'm so pleased that you liked them.

And leave us on a cliffhanger, too!

Heh. Whatever will happen next? :O

P.S. That's the sweetest little Spru icon. *pets them*
moscow_watcher
Jun. 19th, 2008 03:15 pm (UTC)
Awww, poor William... Wonderful spaikus!
mere_ubu
Jun. 19th, 2008 05:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you, dear. Poor William just has no clue, does he?
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