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(yet more) Spaiku

I.
Slayer barges in
tits first, chin out, stake-in-hand:
fresh bout of torture.


II.
Desperate with want,
he dreams the unthinkable.
Oh god no! Please, no.

Comments

( 16 dropped by — come on in )
just_sue
Feb. 11th, 2008 08:18 am (UTC)
Cool! The second one is really lovely, hun. Thanks for sharing.
just_sue
Feb. 11th, 2008 09:00 am (UTC)
Oh, BTW, as you are linking back to your LJ could you just mention that it is a false cut please, hun. TY
mere_ubu
Feb. 11th, 2008 02:53 pm (UTC)
You bet! Is it better if I just post the whole thing at spuffy_haven instead of linking back to my LJ? I wasn't sure. . .
just_sue
Feb. 11th, 2008 03:55 pm (UTC)
Most folk just post there but some like to link back to their LJ - which is fine if your post isn't locked and you want to keep your comments all in one place. It's just to let folk know they have left Spuffy Haven really. Comes from the days when kerfuffles were more common amongst different shippers! *grins*
mere_ubu
Feb. 11th, 2008 03:10 pm (UTC)
I went ahead and posted them there instead of linking back. I'll get the hang of it soon. :)
petzipellepingo
Feb. 11th, 2008 09:47 am (UTC)
Very nice! Especially the second one.
mere_ubu
Feb. 11th, 2008 03:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I still think that scene, in terms of pure sit-there-wide-eyed-with-your-hands-over-your-mouth shock value, is the most startling thing I ever saw on Buffy.
herself_nyc
Feb. 11th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)
Heee. Brill.
mere_ubu
Feb. 11th, 2008 08:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I hope you're pleased with yourself--your continued encouragement has created a Spaiku monster. :)
philips
Feb. 19th, 2008 02:28 am (UTC)
Here via a rec from Herself. All fab but the first one here, "tits first, chin out," just paints her perfectly. Had to stop and comment. And I just love that you call these Spaiku. Off to read more. :)
mere_ubu
Feb. 19th, 2008 04:33 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! I've had fun doing these and I was really happy to hit upon that little word combination as well. I'm sure people wonder what I'm doing at my desk all day with the weird finger twitching and muttering and scribbling, but I'm just counting syllables. :)
missmurchison
Feb. 22nd, 2008 05:36 am (UTC)
I came back to re-read these. (You know you've been tired out when you find yourself bookmarking haiku because you're too exhausted to do justice to them.)

That first one is a perfect picture of Buffy as seen through Spike's eyes.
mere_ubu
Feb. 22nd, 2008 04:35 pm (UTC)
Ooh, re-reading! You just made my morning.

It does seem cruel to beg for haiku feedback--the comments are inevitably longer than the teensy works themselves. I'm very happy to have it, though.

Please pass my thanks on to Mr. M. for the inspiration!
rebcake
Apr. 15th, 2011 04:52 pm (UTC)
Um, as I was rewatching for fantas_magoria, I couldn't help but notice just how braless and perky Buffy was in this episode. Like, a lot, and in multiple outfits. So I think your "tits out" observation has real relevance. Resonance? Significance? Anyway, it works on multiple levels, which you wouldn't think with two little words. But that's the beauty of your spaiku: every little bit is meaningful. Also, funny.
mere_ubu
Apr. 15th, 2011 05:50 pm (UTC)
Heee! Yeah, we're embarking on an S5 re-watch, and the bra seems to have completely left the building. Defy gravity while ye may, spaghetti-strapped vixen!

Thank you. I miss the tiny word pictures! Have I told you that the brain-sucking she-demon who's sapped my will my new boss is a published haiku poet? The cruelty of the irony isn't lost on me. . .

Edited at 2011-04-15 05:51 pm (UTC)
rebcake
Apr. 20th, 2011 05:48 pm (UTC)
No! No evil bosses for Mere! It isn't right! We need her brain on the internet! Give it back!

Some things are really Not Right. Grrr.
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