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Epilogue: Battle of the Bulge

Although the contents of this journal would certainly seem to indicate that I have no shame, I have to admit that I've been feeling a little bad for my Hawaiian Shirt Angel action figure ever since I posted that photo shoot a couple of months ago. He's appropriated Spike's flask and has been sulking brooding and leaving his arm in odd places for weeks now; if I don't intervene soon, I may well wake one day to find a little pile of plastic dust in a sunny windowsill.  I should probably be cleaning the bathroom or conquering Mt. Laundry today, but instead, I offer an epilogue that will, I hope, be something of a corrective to my previous harsh and sizeist treatment of Angel. May Casa del Ubu's loss be his gain!

[Note: I can't really blame drugs for the doll photography this time, so I'm just going to blame philips . She's a corrupter.]

My first move was to separate Angel from Spike and try to find him some more suitable friends. . . friends who might help him realize that small can be beautiful, too.

Merry and Angel seem to be getting along famously! I'm so relieved.

Pippin, however, was out on a pizza run when Angel dropped by, and I was a bit anxious as to how things might go upon his return.

Fortunately, pizza, Irish whiskey, and the telly are great equalizers. (Pipe weed may have played a part as well.) If only I'd remembered to tell Buffy that Angel had other plans for the evening. . .

Well. *beams* I think we'd better just leave Angel where he is, don't you?

In the meantime, Spike has been undergoing his own little, um, sensitivity training session and has learned the important lesson that Bigness and Badness are both relative terms.

Aw, poor dear!

As if that weren't a humbling enough experience, he had to endure the further indignity of finding Buffy with a completely unexpected patrolling partner. (Silly me! I didn't foresee that Angel's taking a night off to hang with his Hobbit homeys would leave Buffy  in the lurch. *wrings hands* I hope Spike can find it in his hard little plastic heart to forgive me!)

Oh man, this does not look good. *peeks cautiously through fingers* I certainly hope there aren't any "accidents" on patrol tonight!

Uh, I need to go deal with a situation. *whispers* I think that Angel and Merry may have formed. . . an alliance, and Pippin is wrecking the Fisher-Price dollhouse. With Angel's arm. What? Oh, don't give me those reproachful eyes. I was just trying to help!


( 44 dropped by — come on in )
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May. 19th, 2008 08:16 pm (UTC)
Ha! I love Angel's new furry-footed friends.

Pippin is wrecking the Fisher-Price Dollhouse with Angel's arm

*luffs the action figure pic spam*
May. 19th, 2008 08:22 pm (UTC)
*sigh* It seemed like such a good idea! At least Angel's happy again. Pippin's in time-out in the cardboard castle, so hopefully everything will work out okay.

May. 19th, 2008 08:29 pm (UTC)
Bwah! J.R.R. Tolkien is spinning in his tomb...
May. 19th, 2008 08:36 pm (UTC)
Ha! No doubt.

I feel dirty now. *g*
May. 19th, 2008 08:30 pm (UTC)
Bad Pippen! I assume he's in the tower with no chance of escape?

Edited at 2008-05-19 08:31 pm (UTC)
May. 19th, 2008 08:34 pm (UTC)
Yep--Elrond and the Witch-King of Angmar are keeping an eagle eye on him.

*lol* Nice icon.
May. 19th, 2008 08:33 pm (UTC)

You are the queen of the more obscure art forms.
May. 19th, 2008 08:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you, ma'am.

Today, doll photography. Tomorrow. . .the diorama! *cackles*
(no subject) - herself_nyc - May. 19th, 2008 08:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mere_ubu - May. 19th, 2008 08:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - herself_nyc - May. 19th, 2008 09:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mere_ubu - May. 19th, 2008 09:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 19th, 2008 10:10 pm (UTC)
Pippin did seem so happy on Angel's knee, so it's not surprising he's miffed. Are you saying a Master Vampire can't keep two hobbits in Happyland at once?

I live the Ent sequence. Buffy/Fangorn, new OTP! And Spike has good reason to be nervous around that much wood. If only for fear of comparisons.

You are utterly bonkers. I love you for it!
May. 20th, 2008 01:16 am (UTC)
Oh, not to worry! I'm sure Pip will come around eventually. Probably just smoked too much pipe weed. (They get paranoid, you know.) Until then, I'm trying to keep him away from pointy wooden objects.

Buffy + Fangorn 4EVER! *cackles* Poor Spike.

*nods* I am. It's cheaper than therapy. Same back atcha, gillo! <333
May. 20th, 2008 12:12 am (UTC)
I have no clever words to offer up. Only this: I laughed and it was a good.

Thanks for keeping us smiling, Mere. You are splendiferous!
May. 20th, 2008 01:22 am (UTC)
Works for me! And you're very welcome. If I can make even one person laugh on a Monday, then my efforts have not been in vain.

Thanks, sweetie. You're pretty darned splendiferous yourself. :D
May. 20th, 2008 12:18 am (UTC)
What is it with Angel action figures?? I have a completely different model, and his arm fell off too!

Heee! I do love how Merry seems so very comfortable holding onto Angel's arm for him. Also, an Ent would make a perfect patrolling partner for Buffy. If she needed a new stake, she could just reach out and break off a piece!
May. 20th, 2008 01:30 am (UTC)
If she needed a new stake, she could just reach out and break off a piece!

*lol* So true. I think Spike is in big trouble.

Haa! That's too funny. Poor Angel--both of his arms fell off within minutes of opening the package. Spike is clearly made of sterner stuff.

Hobbits are such friendly folk, aren't they? I guess that after being captured by Uruks, a one-armed, ensouled vampire with clinical depression just doesn't seem very threatening. . .

Edited for speeling spelling. Sheesh.

Edited at 2008-05-20 01:36 am (UTC)
May. 20th, 2008 12:44 am (UTC)
The Ent is like a stake-mobile, just point in the correct direction and poof!!!!!

Poor Spike, he must be feeling a bit inadequate right now.
May. 20th, 2008 01:33 am (UTC)
For real! Way better than Gunn's old truck. Ents could exterminate vampires like nobody's business.

*whispers* Spike has been drinking mead with dwarves for most of the afternoon. I should probably make sure he sobers up a little before patrol!
(no subject) - ldyavalon - May. 20th, 2008 03:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 20th, 2008 02:34 am (UTC)
Silly me! I didn't foresee that Angel's taking a night off to hang with his Hobbit homeys would leave Buffy in the lurch. *wrings hands* I hope Spike can find it in his hard little plastic heart to forgive me!

May. 20th, 2008 04:21 am (UTC)
I'm going to have to do some serious groveling before Spike doll is able to put this trauma behind him!
May. 20th, 2008 03:50 am (UTC)
A++++. Even though I see no rooster.
Okay. ONE QUESTION. *raises finger*

When Angel is put away in his box, far away from this...alternate universe you've created, do you store his arm with him? Or is it casually thrown into a drawer, his whimpers ignored? One day your cruelty will come back to haunt you. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I can't believe the little hobbit man is sitting on his hat.

Buffy's pants, her continued fragility, are still making me hysterical. Mmm....wood? What are you doing to me?!?!?

Dear god, mere. Dear god!
May. 20th, 2008 04:18 am (UTC)
Re: A++++. Even though I see no rooster.
*claps hands* Yay, hysteria! I aspire to no higher goal. (I think that if anyone had heard me cackling while I captioned Spike's photos this afternoon, I would probably be in some sort of custody right now. If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me!)

The rooster deserves to be its own thing, and the idea is still incubating. (See what I did there? Kill me, philips! You've got to stop me before I pun or picspam again!)

*shuffles feet* Um, actually, it's arms. He's a double amputee now, but I didn't want to damage his self esteem any further by publicizing it. Rest assured, though, that he and his arms (his strong arms! Haaah!!) reside in roughly the same vicinity. Okay, the same room, anyway. *mumbles* Right now he's resting in a box of my mother's mail. And Z. sometimes borrows his arms when re-enacting LOTR battles b/c dismemberment always makes the carnage more spectacular. Oh, the cruelty of youth!

Heh. Noticed that, did you? It was the only way he could stay on Angel's lap. I meant to take a shot of Merry wearing the hat but couldn't find a suitable alternative booster.

Buffy's so frail! I tried to put her hand on her hip, but she's just completely devoid of Slayer sass.

Sleep well and dream of wood. :)

Edited at 2008-05-20 04:44 am (UTC)
Re: A++++. Even though I see no rooster. - philips - May. 20th, 2008 07:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: A++++. Even though I see no rooster. - mere_ubu - May. 21st, 2008 01:37 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 20th, 2008 03:58 am (UTC)
Hee-- action-figure pic-spam! Just what I needed! There just isn't enough action-figure pic-spam in world!

I love Buffy and the Ent!
May. 20th, 2008 04:26 am (UTC)
Aw, I'm happy to oblige. I'm pretty sure that I had way too much fun putting those little tableaux together.

I don't think Spike is going to be volunteering for more photo sessions any time soon.
May. 20th, 2008 04:14 am (UTC)
This is all very tragic. Their little plastic community will never recover. *sniff*
May. 20th, 2008 04:38 am (UTC)
*sheepish* I just wanted everyone to be happy and more tolerant of difference. If it's any consolation, I've done some damage control and the situation seems stabilized for now. Angel and Gimli shared a long-forgotten bottle of Captain Morgan's with the hobbits and passed out; Spike, Buffy, and Legolas are helping each other with root touch-ups. See? It's a beautiful cultural exchange.

May. 20th, 2008 08:17 am (UTC)
Oh thank goodness
that I waited to read this till I was at home. Helpless here!
You got Spike's expression just belligerent enough - girl you are the stop motion action hero!!
May. 20th, 2008 03:39 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh thank goodness
Ah, thank you verra much. The Buffy and Angel figures are fairly expressionless, but I'm amazed at how very Spikey the Spike doll is! He does actually seem capable of looking cocky (heh) or irritable, depending upon how one poses him. I'm going to assume it's because JM has an extremely angular face that's particularly well-suited for translation to the action figure medium. ;)
May. 20th, 2008 05:40 pm (UTC)
OMG. I'd comment, but I'm laughing too hard to form words...
May. 21st, 2008 01:35 am (UTC)
Oh good! My work here is done. ;)
May. 21st, 2008 02:36 am (UTC)
It's only Tuesday, but I'm pretty sure this is going to be the highlight of my week. Excellent show!
May. 21st, 2008 02:51 am (UTC)
Lord help me, B. I get a week off, and what do I do? I play with dolls and write haiku about William as if it were written by William. If I can ever stop doing these things and clean this hellhole instead, you could come over for extended BtVS viewing and we could both play with dolls. *facepalm* Again with the dolls. See? I need help!

We are still go for Slayage, yes?

Edited to add: Thank you! Glad you liked it. ;)

Edited at 2008-05-21 02:53 am (UTC)
(no subject) - drop_edge - May. 21st, 2008 03:51 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mere_ubu - May. 22nd, 2008 04:33 am (UTC) - Expand
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