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This is my next-to-last batch of William haiku. Scout's honor! (Okay, I was never actually a Girl Scout, but "Brownie dropout's honor" just doesn't have the same ring to it.) In this installment, William first looks upon the face of his salvation. BtVS, S5. G. (Previous parts here.)

Burning baby fish?
Wariness surrenders to

If cats were angels,
they might look and talk like this
ethereal girl.

Uncanny knowledge
of his innermost yearnings
confounds and enthralls.

Childlike beauty’s gaze
bores through drab woolen armor,
bares the poet’s heart.

Pale eyes mesmerize,
comprehend his entirety . . .
beckon him homeward.

(part 6: temptation)


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Jul. 7th, 2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
Yay! More spaiku! ;-p
Before I clicked through, I thought, "Burning baby fish" and did that swimming motion Dru does (thank goodness I have my own office ;-p)!

I so totally love that scene in FFL! My daughter hates it when I quote those Dru lines but I love William and Dru's interplay; his naievty and desire for something, anything else, other than his heartbreak and her visions. **sigh**
Jul. 8th, 2008 05:20 pm (UTC)
Re: Yay! More spaiku! ;-p
Hahaa! That cracks me up--I love the "burning baby fish" swimmy thing!

Me too. I mean, you can't hardly blame him for taking her up on the offer; it's probably the first time in his life that someone's bothered to really even look at him.

Thanks for reading and "Yay"ing. :D
Jul. 7th, 2008 07:06 pm (UTC)
These are perfect!
Jul. 8th, 2008 05:29 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you liked them. :D
Jul. 7th, 2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
Oooh, that second one is perfection. You've given me a chill up my spine. Wonderfully done!
Jul. 8th, 2008 05:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you, sweetie! That was the first one I wrote, and I wasn't sure if it would make sense outside my own head. I'm glad to hear that it worked for you!
Jul. 7th, 2008 08:10 pm (UTC)
More William? Yes!!!
I've always wondered what baby fish are called. Fry supposedly. And burning baby fry does sound so very wrong. Go Dru!

Childlike beauty’s gaze
bores through drab woolen armor,
bares the poet’s heart.

Beautiful. Exactly that.

Pale eyes mesmerize,
comprehend his entirety . . .
beckon him homeward.

Got the underlying emotion perfect here. *applauds*
Jul. 8th, 2008 05:37 pm (UTC)
Re: More William? Yes!!!
Hee! I wonder what the hell she thinks it is that she's seeing? That Drusilla's one complicated chick.

Thank you so much. The fact that you like them and that they gave me a much-needed something soothing to do while hiding in the garret on vacation makes this a win-win for me. :D
Jul. 7th, 2008 08:21 pm (UTC)
They are beautiful and all call up for strong visuals. The second one has a quiet beauty . In the third I felt sharply his longing and his anguish..the fourth captures something so vivid it's chilling ! I've received the last one with a feeling of unbearable poignancy.
So heart-breaking , like William himself.

Thank you for this, dear. It's so very lovely to end the day with your poetry.:)
Jul. 8th, 2008 05:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading, darling! I'm delighted that you enjoyed these, and your kind feedback just made my day. :D
Jul. 7th, 2008 08:28 pm (UTC)
If cats were angels,
they might look and talk like this
ethereal girl.

This captures Dru exactly-the ethereal look with claws.

Spike yearning makes him wretched and willing.
Well done.
Jul. 8th, 2008 05:46 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Louise! I'm so pleased that you liked that one--it just kind of popped into my head and I wasn't sure if it made sense to anyone but me. I'm glad it did!
Jul. 7th, 2008 08:39 pm (UTC)
Wonderful. Just wonderful. "Drab woolen armor", "if cats were angels" - love, love,love your style! :)
Jul. 8th, 2008 05:49 pm (UTC)
*blushes* Aw, thank you so much. I love, love, love that these pleased you! :D
Jul. 7th, 2008 09:02 pm (UTC)
If cats were angels,
they might look and talk like this
ethereal girl.

Yes! A great description of Dru.
Jul. 8th, 2008 05:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Cats would talk about visions of burning baby fish if they could, don't you think? ;)

Edited at 2008-07-08 05:51 pm (UTC)
Jul. 7th, 2008 09:17 pm (UTC)
I love the "drab woolen armor," image - sums up poor William beautifully.

Nice work, love. (Not exactly a surprise, though - I love your Spaiku.)
Jul. 8th, 2008 06:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you, dear! I love your feedback. *eats it up with a spoon* I'm delighted that you liked these. :D

(Deleted comment)
Jul. 8th, 2008 06:07 pm (UTC)
Wow, thank you, sweetie! *hugs* I'm so glad that you liked these. D

I guess that what draws William to her in the first place keeps him there--the allure of someone who actually sees him . . .
Jul. 8th, 2008 06:46 pm (UTC)
I love them all-- Yeah! for more spaiku! But I have to say that #4 really moves me. "Drab woolen armor" indeed.

I'm always amazed at how much emotion you can capture in just a few syllables.

Jul. 9th, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)

Aw, thank you very much. I love your comments! I got #2 in about fifteen seconds but wrestled with #4 for days. Weird little word puzzles! I'm glad that it worked for you.

Good to hear from you, darlin.

Jul. 8th, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC)
Yay! Glad of the friendiness, as I just noticed you'd started f-locking when I tried to follow a link here.

That "if cats were angels" bit is such an interesting comparison. I don't think I ever would've thought of it that way, but it's very fitting for Dru.
Jul. 9th, 2008 07:34 pm (UTC)
*sheepish* Well, it was public when I first posted it, and when I went in to edit and change a single word, it defaulted back to friends only. Oops! But now I've at least snared a new friend. *cue diabolical laughter*

Thank you! That one came to me out of the blue, and I was honestly not sure that it would make sense outside my own head. I'm glad it fits for you.

P.S. I wanted to tell you that I started reading "Closure" while I was on vacation last week, and I'm hooked. I was stealing little bits of computer time and didn't get a chance to f/b, but I will next time a chapter goes up. I'm in terrible suspense!
(no subject) - eowyn_315 - Jul. 9th, 2008 07:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mere_ubu - Jul. 9th, 2008 10:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 8th, 2008 07:52 pm (UTC)
aaaaw... *loves*

Dru is a poet's dream, isn't she? Inscrutable and lovely!
Jul. 9th, 2008 07:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :D

*nods* She really is. I got sidetracked while I was working on these and ended up with quite a few that were just about sight and her eyes. She's a dreamy, sinister girl, that Dru.
Jul. 9th, 2008 03:06 pm (UTC)
random commenter
fabulous, you really are a wonderful poet!
Jul. 9th, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
Re: random commenter
Aw, thank you so much! Writing the Spaiku is all that I know. I'm glad that you're still enjoying these. :)
Re: random commenter - rowanda380 - Jul. 9th, 2008 07:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: random commenter - mere_ubu - Jul. 9th, 2008 10:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 11th, 2008 10:29 am (UTC)
They're always good, but the second one is astounding.
Jul. 11th, 2008 01:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I was hoping to capture Dru's strangeness to William without making her seem offputting. I'm so glad you liked it!
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