mere ubu (mere_ubu) wrote,
mere ubu
mere_ubu

Crushed Spaiku

Title: Crushed Spaiku
Author: mere_ubu
Length: 527 words/731 syllables
Rating: PG
Pairing: Spike/Buffy
Disclaimer: Spike and Buffy are not mine; I just enjoy stuffing them into tiny boxes.
Summary: 43 Spuffycentric haiku caps from BtVS, S5, "Crush." Twelve parts.

A/N: Written for the Fall 2008 round of seasonal_spuffy. (Original post here.) Shout out to enigmaticblues for keeping that shindig going, and big thank yous as well to Mister Beta for haiku-wrangling and to philips for amoral support. Fabulous banner courtesy of the awesome and generous alwaysjbj.
Feedback is part of a balanced breakfast and also very delicious.

--



Prologue: Dress

Checks out the new threads,
wishes for a reflection.
Will she notice him?

--
Not a Success

I.
Scoobies are dancing,
Slayer all undefended . . .
time to make a move.


II.
Reverie disturbed
by uninvited presence
in alien garb.


III.
Fashion disaster:
when lovelorn manpires trip and
fall into The Gap.


IV.
Bantam vamp’s banter,
bid for friendship bewilders.
What’s his angle now?

--

Settle for Less

Spurned, he sublimates—
finds cold, cashmere comfort in
Slayer-themed sex games.

--

Impress the Lady’s Relations

I.
Bit leans in closer . . .
interview with a vampire.
Spike’s so freaking cool!


II.
Ghoul, interrupted
by bossy big sister who
never learned to knock.


III.
Sits stunned on his tomb,
gallantry unacknowledged.
What’s it gonna take?

--
Interlude, with Stress

I.
Slayer equation:
crypt plus vampire equals bad.
Clue in, already!


II.
Sisterly lecture
on dangerous ickiness
canceled by bombshell.


III.
Hears the words, but . . . huh?
Frowns in incomprehension.
Spikesinwhatwithwho?!


IV.
Resolves to commence
Operation Avoid Spike.
Shouldn’t be too hard.


V.
What’s he playing at,
this undead Eddie Haskell
flattering her mom?

--
Keep Her Guessing

I.
DeSoto, Ramones,
a flask of bourbon and thou . . .
birds go for that, right?


II.
Surreptitious glance
gives way to naked panic.
Watch the hands, buddy!


III.
Bloke can’t even stretch
without her flippin’ her wig!
Jumpy little thing.


IV.
Awkwardness relieved
by persons of interest.
Vamps eat Jiffy Pop?!

--
Fess Up

I.
Buffy bails, then halts,
arrested by chivalry.
Apprehension dawns.


*II.
The late-night stakeout,
the bogus suspects. The flask!
(gulp) Is this a date?


IV.
Something between us:
loathing, disgust, heat, desire.
Also? Denial.


III.
Entreats her to stay,
discover how much he’s changed;
he can be good, too.


IV.
Years of hurtful jibes
and cleaning up his messes
can’t be overcome.


VI.
Suspicions confirmed,
she repels his admission,
crushing fragile hopes.


*Found haiku taken verbatim from episode.

--

Regression

I.
Slinks cryptward to find
someone wants him after all;
old habits die hard.


II.
Useless to pretend
he’ll ever be anything
but death on two legs.

--

Processing

I.
Wary daughter heeds
maternal admonition
against her judgment.


II.
Inner monologue:
it is kind of flattering . . .
gross, Buffy! It’s Spike!


III.
Reels in disbelief
at creep-o shrine’s unveiling.
Are those her panties?!


IV.
Run! Do not pass go.
Sorry mom, did all I could—
stops dead in her tracks.


V.
Paralyzing sight:
worn black leather, blood-smeared mouth,
nemesis returned.

--

Make a Spectacular Mess

I.
Bloody through playing;
no longer be sire’s toy or
Slayer’s punching bag.


II.
Awakens in chains
to florid declarations,
mawkish theatrics.


III.
Melodramatic
proofs of devotion lost on
captive audience.


IV.
I’m drowning in you.
If she won’t throw him a line,
he’ll drag her under.


V.
She’ll not give a crumb:
neither sliver of slack nor
the barest smidgen.


VI.
Soliloquizes
on mad bitches and torture;
wackiness ensues.

--

Egress

I.
Punches him and leaves
his dignity in tatters,
her shrine in shambles.


II.
Gallops after her,
mouth running faster than legs,
looking for an in.


III.
He said quite enough
during her imprisonment.
Slayer shuts him out.


IV.
No happy ending
when the main guy’s all bumpy,
hunchback or vampire.


V.
Unseen barrier
not the only obstacle
he’ll have to surmount.

--

Epilogue: Undress

Disrobes for the day,
asks her weary reflection:
what is it he sees?


Tags: btvs: s/b, btvs: s5, btvs: spike, seasonal spuffy, spaiku
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