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Today is the birthday of three lovely LJ ladies: the sassy, Seraph-ic snickfic; fangirl, writer, and incredibly generous commenter brunettepet; and finally, mistress of both the FITB fic and the naughty, naughty limerick, the rabble-rousing rebcake. How could I let such a momentous convergence pass without a little commemorative doll!fic? *narrows eyes* How indeed? Well, I'll tell you exactly how. By putting my trust in a bunch of lazy plastic losers who have forgotten their craft! *wrings hands* Honest to Pete, you try to be a good employer and give some people (vampires--whatever!) a little downtime, and suddenly they can’t be bothered to do things like show up on a set ready to work! *wrings tiny necks* Everybody’s got excuses and obligations! And opinions! Anyway, I don’t know what to do with them. It grieves me to present such an incomplete offering, but let me at least show you what I’ve got so you can see what I’m up against.

I give you Exhibit A: a failed photo shoot for brunettepet. *sniffle* Shot down before I’d even begun to present my concept to the "artist"(as I'm now expected to address him) known as Armless!Angel.

Fine. Like I even need him! He can just go back to gelling his hair with his feet and brooding about his "disability." Ptui! I'm done.

What further disappointments are in store today? Why, let's go over to the set of snickfic's birthday shoot and see! It's the newly paternal SchoolHard!Spike, whose recent reading of Seraph has moved him to adopt an orphaned girlchild from the neighboring Fisher-Price dollhouse family. *whispers* If you ask me, this little experiment can only end in tears. I mean, really, dig the open flame action he's got going here!

*gulp* Well. Blazing candle aside, he seems quite serious about his parenting duties, and I’m not about to antagonize a single parent who’s only had five hours of sleep in the past three days. Let's just give him a little space, okay?

Right, then . . . cruising right on by to my go-to guy: good ol’ wifebeater-wearing Doll!Spike. Surely he can be counted on to bring the doll!fic goods and shake his moneymak---wait. Wait just a ding-danged minute! Where is the cake?! He was supposed to get a cake! *wails* La Reb, she must have ze cake!

Man, you go on hiatus and give someone a little artistic leeway, and they crap all over you!

Well, now. They won't give me a festive birthday shot? I'll show them. *stifled sob* I got options. See?

Okay, so this is a)lame, b)out-of-focus, and c)actually my kid's birthday cake, but sometimes you gotta' take what you can get. If I've come away from this demoralizing experience with nothing else, at least I've learned that. *deep breath* SO, in that jolly spirit, I say . . . HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PET AND SNICK AND DARLING REB!!! My sentiments are no less genuine for their botched execution. I hope that each of you has had a lovely day and that the coming year brings you joy and many good things. (And no bad dolls!) Mwah!


Sep. 26th, 2009 03:53 am (UTC)
Well, at first I thought a *snort* was in order, but it quickly progressed to a hearty *guffaw*, followed by uncontrollable *sniggers*. Ouch. My lumbago!

gelling his hair with his feet! pointy plastic fangs! wait a ding-danged minute!

Oh, lordy! *snerk* It's like you know me! Oh. Wait.

I'd just caution you to remember that old age and treachery beats youth and (idealism, beauty, skill, vigor, take your pick), and those vamps have got plenty of years on any of us. It doesn't surprise me a bit that they'd get all uppity. I have every confidence in your ability to charm them into a more amenable, um, position, next time. Thanks for trying. Personally, I like a fellow with a point of view (and a big candle). ¡Besos!

P.S. My, what attractive chocolate bars your vampire has! (I wasn't able to follow your last link to hilarious chocolate, alas.)

Edited at 2009-09-26 06:15 am (UTC)
Sep. 26th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
Hee! I'm delighted to induce the sniggers and guffaws. It's been such a crazy-ass month around here, but I was dying to play with the dollies for y'all. Choosing a premise of "I don't have to have a premise!" seemed like the only way to work around my mushy brain. In future, though, I can see that I'm going to have to be very careful about how much of the art direction I delegate to the dolls. Little chiselers!

Stoopid Photobucket keeps eating my Eat Me chocolate pic. What the foo? Why would it single this image out as offensive when I have so very many much more inappropriate things in my PB account? *sigh* I may have to commit the sin of hotlinkage. And may I just tell you that most of the chocolate wrappers in your birthday pic have been stuffed with tissue paper & cardboard and taped back together? We've powered our way through most of it now. In fact, Z's chocolate angel food birthday cake [see above] is topped with a bittersweet Scharffen Berger glaze. Yum to the yumth power.

Happy Saturday, dearie! Lovely weekend to you. <333

P.S. Look for a modest package (something Spike would know nothing about!) mid-week.

Edited at 2009-09-26 04:26 pm (UTC)